So, I’m in my room right now…blogging and in reality, not doing anything spectacular on this pleasant Friday night. How odd is that?!
This week’s been busy. I’m taking 18 credits (a full load) which equals 7 classes as well as working 15+ hours at work. I’m ready for the weekend. So, what am I doing online, listening to my “homework music”, and writing on my blog when it’s only 9 o’clock? I don’t know…perhaps learning some valuable life lessons.
It’s Friday night. Last semester I was always busy Friday nights, doing all sorts of things with a whole bunch of people. This semester is different — feels different. My best girlfriend here is out with her other girlfriend(s). A few other girlfriends of mine are over at the guys’ dorm watching a movie, an event I practically had to invite myself to. My other friends are at a music recital here on campus, but I’ve been to two recitals this past week, so I’m kinda recital’ed out…. …. Everyone seems to be having a blast, doing fun stuff and hanging with fun people….
So, I find myself here…online, blogging, even considering working on homework or writing ads to pass a Friday night. I must admit; I’m tempted to wallow in my self-pity.
However, the Lord is pulling at my heart, reminding me that my status is not defined by my circumstances but by responses to those circumstances. I can’t stay here wallowing in my self-pity and honestly, loneliness. My focus is off, isn’t it? …. The Lord is at work in my heart changing my heart – opening my eyes – to see the blessings there are in silence, the joys there are in loneliness, the comfort He is during times of pain. Here I am, Lord; while I sit here in my loneliness, blogging on a Friday night when, in my mind I should be out with friends taking advantage of the time to be out of my homework-calling room, teach me the lessons You offer me tonight. Let me not waste this time You have given to me as a classroom of life. Take my human eyes off myself and what I believe I’m lacking and give me a heart that seeks the blessings in the earthly curses, see the beauty in the pain, and seeks You when I feel alone.
So, here I am, online on a Friday night, listening to my “homework music”, and writing on my blog when it’s only 9 o’clock. I’m even considering actually working on homework or writing ads to pass a Friday night. I must admit; I’m tempted to wallow in my self-pity.
However, as I honestly look at the situation, at the places I’d rather be and people I’d rather be with, I have to say my outlook on the situation does change. My best girlfriend may be out at Starbucks diligently studying with her brother. My other girlfriends would have loved for me to join them at the guys’ dorm, but I have a meeting to go to in an hour, so I had to say no. The other thing I’d love to be doing right now couldn’t happen tonight, again, because of this meeting…..the meeting… I have to smile and laugh. Here I am wallowing in my self-pity and loneliness on this Friday night when in one hour I am going to go hang with friends at a “meeting.” Ok, it’s being called a meeting, but honestly, I’m going to be hanging with a ton of really neat people discussing a certain….hm…can’t really say right now…but we need to talk about a certain, common….thing…..LOL…I know…very clear, right?
LOL…see, now I’m laughing.
God has a way of doing that. Just when we’re feeling our lowest, if we turn to Him and lift it all up to Him and ask Him not to remove us from the situation but to change our outlook on our circumstances, God alters our viewpoint to teach us life-altering lessons and truly show us the the blessings there are in silence, the joys there are in loneliness, and the comfort He is during times of pain.
Enjoy your Friday…… I’m enjoying mine.